I HAVE KISS A GUY

’ve kissed a guy... I’ve kissed guys. I just haven’t felt that thing.... That thing... that moment when you kiss someone and everything around you becomes hazy, and the only thing in focus is you and this person. And you realize that that person is the only person you’re supposed to kiss for the rest of your life. And for one moment you get this amazing gift. And you wanna laugh and you wanna cry, ‘cause you feel so lucky that you’ve found it, and so scared that it’ll go away all at the same time."


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Scores dead, villages flattened in devastating Samoan tsunami

Survivors of a deadly earthquake-triggered tsunami which hit the Samoan islands Tuesday have described how they watched the inrushing sea swallow up coastal towns and villages leaving devastation in its wake.

iReporter Alden Tagarino captured this image of the damage caused by the tsunami in Pago Pago.

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more photos »

At least 111 people are confirmed killed in Samoa, neighboring American Samoa and Tonga. But officials in the Polynesia region have expressed fears the toll will rise as rescue workers struggle to reach outlying villages submerged and flattened by the wave.

American Samoa resident Frances Faumatu told CNN she had fled to Aoloau, the highest village on the island, as the earthquake shook her house.

"All of a sudden we heard on the radio everybody had to run for safety," she said. "Right after the quake, the tsunami came."

Faumatu and others stayed on the mountain for two or three hours until the warning was lifted, watching as the sea swallowed Pago Pago, island's capital, and then receded.

At least 22 people are confirmed dead in the U.S. island territory. Cars, debris, and parts of buildings were randomly strewn over the landscape where the powerful waters dropped them. See iReporter images of the aftermath »

But in some cases, the sea left nothing behind. "Other villages were taken to the ocean," Faumatu said.

The 8.0-magnitude quake hit the small cluster of Samoan islands in the South Pacific early Tuesday.

In Samoa, the death toll stands at 82, according to government minister Maulolo Tavita. But he said he feared the number of casualities would continue to rise.

Around 220,000 people live on the two main islands which make up the nation of Samoa. The population of American Samoa is about 66,000. See a map of the affected region »

Salamo Laumoli, director of health services at the LBJ Tropical Medical Center in Pago Pago, said he feared more fatalities would turn up as rescue workers strived to access parts of the island severed by damaged infrastructure.

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"I thought it was the end of the world," said Laumoli. "I have never felt an earthquake like that before."

Patients at the hospital were briefly moved to higher ground, but they were soon brought back and the hospital is operating, the U.S. Federal Emergency Management Agency said. The airport in the capital of Pago Pago was also operational and being used for emergency flights, FEMA said.

"The wave came onshore and washed out people's homes," said Cinta Brown, an American Samoa homeland security official working at the island's emergency operations center.

The same happened on the hard-hit east and west sides of American Samoa, said Brown, who was standing in a parking lot when her sport utility vehicle began rocking left and right.

She said she could hear the rattling of metal of a large chain-link fence around the lot. "It shakes you because you know something else is coming," she said.

The British Foreign Office said one of the dead in American Samoa was a British national, but no other details were provided.

In Tonga, Lord Tuita, the acting prime minister, said at least seven people had been confirmed dead on the northern island of Niuatoputapu. Three others were missing and four people were being treated for serious injuries, he said.

"The hospital on the island is reported to have suffered major damage; telephone communications has been cut as a result of damage to equipment and facilities on the island; homes and government buildings have been destroyed; the airport runway has been severely damaged making it impossible for any fixed wing aircraft to land," a statement from the Tongan prime minister's office said. Were you there? Send us your photos and video

A series of aftershocks reverberated through the region Tuesday as reports emerged of entire villages flattened or submerged by the tsunami. The walls of water were so strong that they twisted concrete beams and mangled cars. See an explainer on tsunamis »

Laumoli said people in outlying villages on one end of the main American Samoa island had been cut off because the connecting bridge was washed away. Listen to Laumoli speak about the impact of the quake and tsunami »

American Samoa Gov. Togiola Tulafono, speaking from Hawaii, said Tuesday's quake ranked "right up there with some of the worst" disasters on the island. He said he had spoken to the military about mobilizing reserve forces for assistance.

Tulafono was on his way back home from Hawaii on Tuesday night on one of two U.S. Coast Guard transport planes delivering aid. He told reporters Tuesday it had been hard being away from home as the disaster unfolded. It was a time, he said, for families to be together.

U.S. President Barack Obama declared American Samoa a major disaster area, ordering federal aid to supplement local efforts.

The Coast Guard is transporting more than 20 officials from the Federal Emergency Management Agency to American Samoa, said John Hamill, external affairs officer for FEMA in Oakland, California.

The FEMA team will include a variety of debris experts, housing experts, members of the Corps of Engineers, and other disaster relief specialists, Hamill said.

The quake generated three separate tsunami waves, the largest measuring 5.1 feet from sea level height, said Vindell Hsu, a geophysicist with the Pacific Tsunami Warning Center. Preliminary data had originally reported a larger tsunami.
By: CNN

Soul is the ultimate G-spot for happiness'

• Story Highlights
• Author says ancient Greek philosopher Aristotle's advice for dating still relevant.
• "Soul is the ultimate G-spot for happiness," writer translates
• Soul mate is someone who nurtures your soul, thereby promoting insight and growth
• Pleasure, utility and shared virtue are 3 types of relationships that bring happiness

September 29, 2009 -- Updated 1312 GMT (2112 HKT)

• Next Article in Living »

(OPRAH.com) -- When I was a teen, I tried to read the entire Encyclopedia Britannica. My goal: Memorize its contents, be on TV game shows, win cash and prizes, run away from home, move to Manhattan and become a professional writer.

Instead of focusing on getting Mr. Right, focus on finding Life Plan Right, says author.

I got as far as Asparagus. To this day, I know a little about a lot of words beginning with "A." Some favorites: ants, atoms, alchemy.

Plus, Aristotle was a childhood crush, because I've always loved philosophy. When I finished reading his one-page encyclopedic write-up, I bought books about him. I'd been saving these dog-eared, underlined Aristotle books, as well as the "A" book of Britannica, all to be used in a novel, where I'd been planning to bless my protagonist with the quirky detail of knowing all things "A."

I recently rediscovered these Aristotle books when moving apartments. I flipped through and was surprised to discover Aristotle said a lot of the same things about love and happiness as modern psychologists. Only Aristotle obviously said it first, having been born at least 300 years B.C. Plus, Aristotle said it truly wisely.

Indeed, much of what Aristotle said hit home big-time -- in particular about a sexy, smart, funny, rich, lying, cheating, don't-get-me-started Prince Harming I'd just broken up with. I could almost hear what Aristotle might say to me if we were to chat over souvlaki.

'Sold your soul to be with him'

"Mea bene, Karen," Aristotle would say. "You know what your problem was with your ex? He was not your soul mate -- but your 'sold' mate -- because you sold your soul to be with him. Sure he was sexy, smart, rich, funny -- but alas, he was a liar and a cheat."

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"You're an intellectual guy." I'd correct the regaled philosopher called the "Mind of the Academy" by Plato. "I'm surprised you believe in something as namby-pamby metaphysical as a soul mate!" Oprah.com: 10 rules to soul mate love

"Absolutely!" My fave Greek philosopher buddy Ari would respond emphatically.

"Actually, I sort of coined the concept of 'soul mate.' If there'd been a little TM trademark thingy back in the 300s B.C., I'd be a very rich man today. I firmly believe caretaking the soul is incredibly important for happiness. I describe a soul mate as a 'soul-nurturing mate.' Someone who nurtures your soul, thereby promoting insight and growth. I pushed folks to find soul mates because, in my opinion, real happiness only comes when you stimulate your core self -- and grow into your highest potential. Basically, the soul is the ultimate G-spot for happiness."

Of course, I'm paraphrasing for my philosopher buddy. But if Aristotle were here, I know he'd agree with my verbal modernization. Plus, Ari would go on to describe how he views the world as offering three kinds of relationships, only one of which brings true happiness.

3 kinds of relationships

According to ancient philosopher Aristotle, there are three kinds of relationships, only one of which will bring you true happiness. Find out how your relationship measures up!

1. Relationships of pleasure

Partners who are about sex, drugs and rock 'n' roll. You share soulless, passionate sex and playful banter -- but they're about the body or ego. They never soul-nurture you with insight and growth, so they never bring real-deal happiness. Oprah.com: How to break your bad man habit

2. Relationships of utility

Partners you spend time with in hopes of garnering status, power, money and beauty like the rich guy with a trophy girl. Again, this is about body or ego and doesn't bring true joy.

3. Relationships of shared virtue

Partners who challenge and inspire you to grow into your highest potential and nurture your soul. A good example is when Jack Nicholson's character in "As Good As It Gets" says, "You make me want to be a better man." When you prioritize seeking a partner who supports you becoming your best self -- instead of crushing on "superficial lures"(hotness, funniness, smartness, success, etc.) -- you wind up with a soul mate/a Prince Charming/a definite keeper!

With this in mind, if you want to be happy in love, you must take time to see past a guy's "superficial lures" and look inside his "superinsidehimself." Unfortunately, those fumes of chemistry can often dizzy a gal into making stupid love choices. That's why it's important to remember: Hot, steamy chemistry eventually fades -- and what's always left beneath is a person's true soul.

Yes, if you want to be happy, you must seek a good-hearted, ethical soul who brings you great growth -- not simply a hottie who brings great grope Oprah.com: The best things to do for your relationship

Confession time: Another superficially alluring quality I've been suckered in by is humor. I am Silly Putty in a friggin' funny man's hands. I once had a boyfriend who teased me that the secret to getting me into bed was to crack five good jokes in a night. He'd count down his jokes as the night progressed. Unfortunately, funniness is a mere decorative quality -- sometimes developed to avoid talking about real-life issues. Which is why in the past, after a few months of dating a friggin' funny guy, I've witnessed all that fabulous ha-ha-ha laughter often gives way to tears when the guy's true character -- true soul -- shows up as one that avoids honest communication, warm empathy and the desire for growth. Then, when I try to connect soul to soul -- heart to heart -- I am greeted by a gigantic, unmovable whoopee cushion wall.

Basically, friggin' funny is only the tiniest tip of a person. Meanwhile, a person's soul is a person's foundation!

For the record: Aristotle wasn't against finding someone friggin' funny or friggin' sexy or friggin' rich. He believed these pleasure-bringing qualities were good for stirring up passion, which humans need to be our fullest selves! But Aristotle recognized "superficial lures" and material goods were simply what he called "means to the ends" of happiness, not "the final ends," which is always to grow into your most esteemed self.

As Aristotle said: "Men imagine the causes of happiness lie in external goods. That is as if they were to ascribe fine and beautiful lyre playing to the quality of the instrument rather than the skill of the player."

Or as I like to say, "It's just as easy to complain about a rich man as it is to complain about a poor man."

Basically, it doesn't matter how rich a guy is if his behavior makes you twitchy and miserable.

While on the subject of money, Aristotle was no fan of slackers either. He recognized that being or dating poor brought its share of problems. He even admitted the lack of a certain amount of wealth was as much an obstacle to happiness as deprivation of freedom. He gladly accepted that some wealth was needed to be happy -- just as exciting bodily pleasures were needed. But again, wealth and bodily pleasures were mere means to the ends of happiness -- these ultimate ends being to nourish your soul, so you can reach your most esteemed level of self.

A big secret to happiness? Stop focusing on finding a Mr. Right! Start focusing on finding Life Plan Right. When a Mr. Potential Right comes along, you must ask yourself if this guy will lead you to Life Plan Right or Life Plan Wrong.

As you get to know the guy, look to see if he:

1. Offers you exciting growth as well as exciting grope

2. Has developed good character -- so he'll be a positive influence on your character development.

If the guy scores two for two, you're likely in Prince Charming territory. Oprah.com: What you could learn from dating 100 men

Adapted by Karen Salmansohn from her book, "Prince Harming Syndrome." She is a best-selling author known for creating self-help for people who wouldn't be caught dead reading self-help.

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By Karen Salmansohn